When your ability to audibly express your voice is taken away, you begin to wade through your thoughts and decipher actuality versus your perception of it. So often, we believe we know something so clearly and we robotically react. We articulate our interpretation without really understanding why or if we believe what we are saying.
For example, you may say, “I don’t care what people think. I love you unconditionally. I’m not afraid of getting hurt; I can handle it. I’m okay. I’m happy. I can do it all.” The questions are, do you really not care, can you love without condition, are you afraid, can you really handle it, are you okay, are you happy and can you do it all?
When we quickly answer these questions, without hesitation, they seem to make sense. I proclaimed these thoughts, therefore they are true. Right?
I’m considering that the answers and the meanings behind them, aren’t as easy to translate or validate with certainty, from just our words.
I’m on Day 20 of this prescribed Vow of Silence. I can’t express, react or respond in the ways I was able to just a few short weeks ago. I can’t speak for myself. I have so much to say and I find that my pen can’t keep up. Take away my voice and I’m left here Mindful. Observant. Paying much closer attention. I’m adjusting and I’m discovering more than I imagined I would during this time.
Now, I find myself realizing that this is not something that’s been taken away but rather, a gift of heart-searching. I am here; listening and learning.
For now, I must remain quiet and allow the vibrations and messages to come through.
They reel around and around and eventually land. These thoughts teach me. About myself. About Humanity. About Life. About you.
Everything happens for a reason. The why is being revealed in each moment I get to hear something without the ability to verbally analyze and interpret the meaning behind it. Maybe I don’t always have to know the meaning and maybe it won’t come together and make sense. That is okay.
It is here, in my speechlessness, where I am consciously exploring and giving rise to forthcoming discoveries. Although you cannot hear me, I am very present to the resonance surrounding this silence.
The more we listen…
The less we allow the constant commentary of our own minds to unquestionably define and dictate what it all means as we evolve through each day…
The more we learn.
โฅ๏ธ Sandy
