To be in the presence of another soul leaving their body, from this earth, is indescribable. I often hear the sentiment, “They will finally be in peace and they are going to a better place.” Like a meditative chant, I repeat the phrase over and over again and I want more than anything to believe this as truth. I tell myself that the one who passes on will be fine and yes, in peace, relieved of suffering. We, the ones left behind, suffer. We grieve as we miss their energy, their face, their smile, their scent, their laugh, their warmth, their companionship, their friendship, their love. We miss every single thing about them because they were sui generis and no one can or will ever replace them. The devastation of loss is beyond explanation. The pain is overwhelming.
I’ve experienced many losses in my life. The seconds before and the many moments after, deepen my consciousness further and further. I become even more sensitive and empathetic. I struggle to find balance through the fear and darkness and their attempt to dominate my thoughts during these times. As I am present to the most painful, agonizing feelings, I must also allow and accept the light and peace we’re supposed to somehow embrace, in death. Just as we are born, we shall die. We will lose loved ones and they will one day lose us. Although I can intellectually understand this, the knowledge and awareness don’t make any of this any easier.
I realize how significant and extraordinary each and every living, breathing soul and spirit in this life truly is. We each have a unique purpose in this life. We each have something meaningful and substantial to express. To stand for. To raise awareness and consciousness for others. We are the leader. The lesson. The example. The one who makes a difference. To someone. If you touch one heart, if your being resonates and connects with one soul, if you inspire positivity, if your words save someone’s life, if your hand holds another’s and gives them comfort, if you stand for something you believe in and make someone feel they aren’t alone, if you listen and let someone feel they are being heard, if you love someone enough to wish them happiness beyond your own, if you live each day as if you truly understand the magnitude of this precious, astounding gift of Life, you are A L I V E. You are breathing. You have the gift of Time on your side. You still have another chance to turn this day around. To turn your life around. To live more fully. To live with more compassion. More purpose. More Light. More Love.
If you allow yourself to be vulnerable and love with all of your beautiful heart and get to share that with a devoted counterpart, you are among the truly fortunate ones. If you have found that someone and timing, distance, circumstances, or anything else is keeping you apart, keep believing, keep working your way toward your authentic self, toward them, toward the one you haven’t yet found, toward the exquisite destiny I do believe exists. The honor of getting to be a witness in the life of another’s existence and to have a witness of your own, is something to be grateful for.
I know that the miraculous gift of birth and the devastating tragedy of death are both here to teach us something. They are both here to wake us up, to keep us persevering, to make us feel a love deeper than we’ve ever known and a pain we don’t ever want to experience again. It is all here to raise our mindfulness. Our consciousness. Our enlightenment. Our Love. Our gratitude. It is here to alter our perceptions. Shift our Perspectives. Question our beliefs. Dispute our doubts. The fighting spirit we always have within ourselves to go beyond what we believe we are capable of. To love, even when we are scared. To lift our wings and soar, when at times, it seems easier to let go and give heed to the wind as it dictates our direction and path in this life.
I do not wish to experience the loss of life before my eyes. So often, I do not feel strong enough to endure the pain. I elect to do so, however, when I pay attention to the calling in my heart. When I am present to the moment of death, I make the choice to look this living, breathing Life and Heart in the eyes, with all of my love bestowed upon them and I hope that I make a difference as they are passing. My wish is for them to feel the peace and love in my heart, the warmth of my skin, the depth of my soul. I will hope that a piece of their spirit stays alive through me. I will be reminded how deep my love is, how special you are, how incredibly extraordinary each and every second is and will continue to be. I miss you already. I will carry your heart in mine. Always. May you rest in peace. Until I see you again.
In Love and Everlasting Light and Memory.
Although you are no longer physically here.
You will remain in my heart. Forever.
To us. The ones still standing. Living and Breathing. The beneficiaries of another day. May we cherish each moment and the precious gift of every passing second. May we carry the love from the spirits who have passed before us and may we Live as if we are giving them the gift of more Time, through our E Y E S.
With deep love and gratitude,