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Daily Diary / Narratives

The Little Girl In My Story

We each have a story to tell. It is never too late. Each piece and each phase contribute to the meaning and purpose of our existence. We can build a little each day. Thought by thought, step by step, line by line.

Persist until your authentic voice, truth, and courage are living and breathing. Persist until you are set free from a life that is unlived, unloved, unattempted, and unwritten. It begins with first, showing up. I am right here, right now, showing up to this moment, this life, and this page; with the same curiosity and wonder of this little girl who still resides within me.

SGF

I stumbled upon this photo the other day. It took me on a philosophical and significant journey through my existence up to this point. I’ve been profoundly staring into these virtuous and budding eyes; reflecting on who she was and who I stand before you as, today. I’ve been connecting the dots between that period of time and this moment right here and right now of which I am ever present.

At such an early age, I remember being so cognizant of time and how precious each moment was. What I believed to be an accelerated speed at which time was passing, I was acutely mindful of my gratitude. I recognized the gift of that then and I recognize it now. I attribute this benefit to the depth of my presence and awareness. This idea of time moving so quickly also inspired what I set out to accomplish in my life because I felt that my time was limited and finite. This is one of my many observations as I examine this photo.

I recall later in life, as I was introduced to physics, relativity, and the many theories related to time, I was intrigued, curious, and fascinated and began writing my own theories, as they related. These ideas have presented themselves for me to process on so many levels and from so many different perspectives. I would enthusiastically write a dissertation on what I’ve gathered from various theoretical physicists on the matter and I plan to, one day. Kepler, Rovelli, Galileo, Newton, Aristotle, Einstein, Hawking, and so many others paved the way toward this deeper and more complex understanding of time and of our existence. I wasn’t and still am not, mathematical or scientific by nature but that hasn’t stopped me from searching and asking the many questions that pervade my mind about the BIG picture. I proceed daily on my conscious and mindful path weaving concepts, principles, and ideas together. I assemble and analyze for a much deeper understanding from a spiritual lens. All of these equations, theories, facts, hypotheticals, and thoughts lead and guide me deeper and higher to a more connected, meaningful life.

I truly see this little girl who has since become a woman. I experience and witness each step of this journey as it unravels within and around me. Opportunities for self-discovery and self-reinvention are always just a decision and choice away. I have been loving, observing, reading, breathing, working, and writing my way through this life. It is a deeply personal exercise in processing my purpose as I experience the seasons, the blessings, the collective grief we live through together, the densified fog of loss, and the pressing against the limits of my being. All of this has led me to the elemental fact that no matter the circumstance or challenge, no matter the diagnosis or perceived outcome, I must lift the inner beliefs and validity given to odds set against me, by my own efforts, or perish under it. There is blind survivalism which is often mistaken for choice and there is a choice that requires one to overcome and uplift through a deep understanding of gratitude and faith in something bigger.

Even though we so often say that time moves by so quickly, based on Einstein’s Special Theory of Relativity, it doesn’t. He determined that time is relative and the rate at which it passes depends on our frame of reference.

As I behold this wide-eyed, tender soul in the photograph, as I witness my two thriving, extraordinary boys growing up so quickly, right before my eyes, I am deeply present in this frame of reference. I could most certainly meander down various paths of discussion related to this but for now, I just want to remain and reflect on the precious gift of the moment. The coordinates, points, and measurements, which make up the system mathematically and physically, also reveal and support my belief in the frame of reference which I consider to be eternal and infinite.

to be continued…

โ™ฅ๏ธ Sandy