Turbulence. Fear. Letting Go. Living.

In times of turbulence, we must remain calm and patient. There is a reason. There is light. There is hope. Hang on and Trust.


We are on the plane and everyone is asleep. I seem to be the only one awake for this wild, bumpy ride so I had to write and share my thoughts with you. Any fear of flying I may have had in my life never prevented me from actually taking flight. I would always go, have a positive attitude and pray during takeoff for a safe and enjoyable trip. What else is there to do. Oh wait, I know many drink and/or take pills of some kind, to relax. Good for you. I hear it really helps. I don’t do either so I’m left with my positive outlook, prayers and the choice to just relax and let go.

Tonight as we are flying through dark skies from Buenos Aires to Madrid, I am reflecting on where this fear originated. I see how my kids have no fear. They actually love getting on the plane and staring out the window. There is a peace I see within them as they stare at the clouds and quietly analyze what they are actually doing. This is what I felt at one time and I am now remembering where that changed for me.

I was 17 years old and I was going to New York to visit my Dad on a business trip he was taking. I was in theater and was acting at the time and the thought of spending time in New York was the most exciting thing ever for me. We stayed at the Plaza, walked through Central Park, saw my favorite show on Broadway, Les Miserables, and so much more. It was a time I can remember feeling very alive and free in a way I hadn’t known before.

My flight was something, until now, I believe I blocked out of my memory as I have done with other traumatic events in my life. We had horrible weather and the turbulence was absolutely crazy. People were crying, praying, screaming and freaking out. I had a cold and I remember I couldn’t breathe very well. I remained calm because that’s what I always did and continue to do in my life today. As we got closer to JFK, we were circling the airport for well over an hour. The weather was so bad and we didn’t have clearance to land. You can imagine how this felt after the ride we had taken to get here. Eventually, the captain came on and told us we had to land because we were almost out of fuel. For some reason, this sounded scary to me. Had to? Was he going to just take a chance that it all worked out?

I was alone. I just kept envisioning New York and the lights and I believed that I was meant to take this trip… so everything would be fine. We continued to circle even longer. We went in for the landing and when we landed safely, everyone cheered like they just witnessed their favorite team win the Super Bowl. I was so grateful and happy.

When I got off the plane, my Dad ran up to me and hugged me so hard and didn’t let go. I wondered if he knew what I had just been through and if that was why he held me so tight and for so long. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the reason. One of the planes that had been circling with us for hours, ran out of gas and crashed. The plane that was right in front of mine. I saw people at the airport lying on the ground hysterically crying. Faces staring at the door that I just exited hoping their loved ones would appear. I was in shock. People were calling my Dad and asking if I was ok. I could feel that fear existed here on land just as we had our own up in the sky.

I truly felt something happen to me in those moments at the airport and in the moments and days after, watching the news about that tragic evening. I was so devastated for the ones that perished and for the families left behind to mourn. I also realized how close I came to death. We were in the same position and probably minutes away from the same fate. 

As I’m writing this, I am crying. This life is so precious. This is something you will hear me say often. I can’t say it enough. I have always lived with a great sense of gratitude. Since I was a little girl I realized not only how precious life was, but how quickly it went by. I also am realizing in this moment how I have buried certain fears by replacing them with a positive attitude and a big smile…but the fears still have a way of showing up and presenting themselves.

I am writing this post for two reasons. One is so that I can release this out to the world and let it go. This flight we are on tonight has been very turbulent and I feel alone as I did that evening. Everyone is asleep and I am walking through these feelings here with all of you now. I am just staring at our boys as they peacefully sleep on my lap. I am looking at my husband as he sleeps and taking in his life and all he’s experienced and is working through. I am envisioning Spain and all that lies ahead. I am feeling LOVE and putting Love out to the Universe. This is my choice.

I want to share so that if any of you are afraid, I’d like to encourage you to let your fears go. Whether you believe in God having a plan for us, destiny, or you live with a fear that you shouldn’t get on planes because you are not in control, let me tell you this. The only thing we have control of is our attitude and the lens with which we view our world and live in it. This is my belief. As we take this trip, I am grateful for each second that I get to spend with my family as well as the opportunity to broaden my perspective in this life I’ve been given.

Fear may reside in you. It has for me for different reasons because of different experiences I’ve witnessed, faced and lived through. I am alive, therefore, I will choose to Live. Live today and let go of the fears that bind you. I realize that sounds like a simple statement and I know it isn’t a simple task. I’d like to ask you to do yourself a favor. Try to figure out where a particular fear originated for you, and take some time to walk through it. Write, talk to someone about it, post it on Facebook. I’m finding that sharing is so cathartic. It does wonders for your mind and soul. I believe this will make a huge difference in your life. It is making a difference in mine. Thank you for listening and for being a part of my life.

…I must add a few things now that we have arrived and we are safe and cozy. I feel so, so happy and thankful. The boys were just amazing on our 12 hour flight and through all of the before and after processes. I actually get to relax on all of our flights and I must admit the plane was one area I anticipated would be challenging.

Also, I wanted to show you a new feature they have on planes…this large screen which displays the point of view of the captain. There are cameras on top of the plane so you watch the screen as if you are flying it. Talk about staring something right in the face. We are the captains of our own lives so we may as well see the view head on. It’s interesting and actually comforted me in a weird way. When we landed and watched the whole thing…heading down through clouds and landing on the runway, it actually made me enjoy this method of transportation in a way I hadn’t before. Perhaps the letting go of what I was afraid of helped me with this point of view today. We are always the first ones to clap as we land and the boys get so excited when everyone else joins in. Very special moments, indeed.

Airplane Camera

I am so excited to explore a new world and to share in this experience with my family. We LOVE Madrid so far and we can’t wait to share it with all of you! By the way, it’s still winter here with snow on the not so far away mountains and I only packed for spring/summer ? Everyone is bundled in coats, scarves, boots and style. Beauty everywhere. Vertigo and all, I’m ready to step out into this vibrant city and share the Love! Have a wonderful weekend!

♥️ Sandy