The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.Rajneesh
I began blogging around 4 years ago in an attempt to express myself and share my stories on attachment parenting. I never knew the term ‘attachment parenting’ existed until my first son was around 3 months old and people were constantly telling me I was doing things differently than normal.
I never knew what kind of mother I would be. In preparation for giving birth, I suppose I did things conventionally. I got the crib, set up the nursery, bought bottles, a breast pump, a stroller, and a couple of baby carriers. I was ready for anything and really had no idea what that anything was. I just did my best to embrace this growing life inside of me and to nurture and protect the two of us on this miraculous journey.
When my son was born, the most powerful, natural, and loving instinct awakened within my soul and my heart. This instinct is what assists me in each decision and continues to guide me each day.
I now have two sons, 4 1/2 and 2 1/2. I have been breastfeeding since the first moment, and have continued each day since then. I’ve shared a bed with my boys since birth and I ensure safe and secure sleep, physically and emotionally. I used a stroller the first week and felt my son was not close enough to me and began wearing him in a carrier right away. I enjoyed it so much that I was inspired to create my own baby wrap line. I practice gentle and positive discipline. I respond with sensitivity, patience, and love. I provide consistent, loving care and strive for balance in my life. Although I don’t need a label, I discovered, while looking for support when everyone seemed against me, the Wonderful World of Attachment Parenting.
Attachment Parenting International was my first introduction to not only the term but the support I so badly wanted and needed one late night, without sleep when I felt very alone.
I read and read and was so grateful to find a resource where I could relate to others and be a part of a community with like-minded women. I began realizing how different we all were as parents. I never had a problem with what anyone else was doing however, I couldn’t believe the judgment and inquisition parade that scrutinized my every move as a mother.
I wrote a post a few years ago entitled ‘To Each Her Own’ and as I re-read this emotionally driven piece, I realize that today, I would write the same words. We are all different. We all make different choices in how we parent. We are not perfect and we will all make mistakes. I couldn’t believe the amount of support I got after writing that blog post. I began realizing how necessary writing was in order to express, relate and connect.
I have been writing weekly and the simple act of expressing my thoughts openly gives me more relief than I could have imagined. I used to be a very private person. Once I decided to start a blog, I made a choice to relinquish a bit of my privacy and anonymity each time I began typing.
Over time I’ve grown so much and the rewards are amazing. At first, I just wanted to be understood and positive. Then, I just wanted to get my feelings out on virtual paper but didn’t think anyone would listen. With each post, I started getting feedback and support. Then I became even more open. I found that others began opening up more and sharing honestly with me. I have my most surprising and therapeutic moments and breakthroughs as a result of writing and sharing. When I witness others relating to me, being affected, inspired, or even against me, I feel like it’s all worth it. We are all connecting. We are all growing. We are all transforming.
Somehow, in a world where we are all doing our best and yet facing challenges every day, we are finding peace and comfort through the medium of communication. I am truly thankful for the incredible platform of blogging. As I read posts, scroll through news feeds, peruse articles, I feel like I am part of a community. I gather information. I identify with others. I get inspired to write and contribute my thoughts. I don’t feel alone.
Lastly, I want to say this. As I proceed on this journey through motherhood each day, I am finding that truth, openness and authenticity are so important and valuable. We can all paint pretty and perfect pictures of our lives. We can post only the positive things, the smiling photos of ourselves and our kids, and portray something that may appear lovely and inspiring to others from afar. It’s the truth and the not-so-glamorous reality of the challenges we face each day, as well as the precious and happy moments captured, that make us who we are. I am beginning to share more facts of my existence with you each day in an effort to connect even further. The intimacy that comes from this expression fills the spaces that were once empty and isolated. I thank those of you who share so candidly with me.
I am a proud attachment parent and I encourage you to Relax, Relate and Rejuvenate as we honor Attachment Parenting Month. I feel Renewed each day just knowing I am part of this amazing community. The parental support I receive from you is more appreciated than you know. My wish is for all of us to accept our differences and support one another with Compassion, Kindness, and Love.